How a TV programme changed my life ...

I started writing this a few days ago and discovered I had so many suppressed memories and emotions attached to what I'm writing about I'll need to do this in several parts. This is the first part of what I anticipate will be a number of blogs on BBC Breakfast.

Before you read, I am already aware of how ridiculous this whole thing sounds, and how much amusement you'll probably gain from it at my expense, but I have not exaggerated one little bit. Writing about the sentiments I have for the show is just a way of dealing with my sadness that everything I loved about it will very soon be coming to an end.

At the beginning of 2004 I was 13 years old. I can’t remember being interested in much other than dancing and where my next pair of ballet shoes was coming from. Shortly after that, Strictly Come Dancing hit our screens; I quickly developed an intense and now embarrassing obsession with Natasha Kaplinsky (one I’ll vigorously deny these days ...) which meant I started waking up at 6.30am each weekday to watch BBC Breakfast and that was it. My morning routine has barely changed since. I’m now 20; an adult. I’m meant to be at that stage where I actually have a life, thus not allowing it to be ruled by minor TV pap but I still do ... I can’t let it go, but in the coming months, due to the programme’s relocation to media city, I am being forced to. It started like this ...

It was April 2004. Seven years ago. I woke up in the morning and whilst only semi conscious I’d hit the switch on the television in my bedroom and listen to Dermot and Natasha go through the newspapers. I never realised before that newsreaders ever strayed from their autocue, but here they seemed to and it was suddenly fascinating to me whenever Natasha commented, offering a personal view about one of the headlines, or if Dermot adlibbed as he handed to the sport.

Moreover, I loved waking up each morning and discovering what Natasha had chosen to wear and whether Dermot was complimenting this with his tie. Over time I became familiar with what must have been a jacket rota, and I’d always notice whenever she wore something new. All in all, I was transfixed by what seemed to me to be these two nice people, who read the news, wore nice clothes and had some personality, not to mention conduct interviews with politicians who at the time I’d never heard of, over issues I had no interest in. I wanted to be just like them, I concluded.



Occasionally, while Natasha was doing Strictly, they would discuss how training was going. It was like having some kind of behind the scenes access into how her dances were coming along. I thought she was brilliant. I loved in interviews how she never seemed flustered, always in control and yet, from seeing her on Strictly I knew there was a vulnerable person in there somewhere and not just a robot who read the news. I don’t particularly hold these flattering views of la Kaplinsky these days; I find her a little too dull, a little too careful and predictable and importantly a little bit too professional to be as human as I thought her to be then.

Shortly into my love affair with BBC Breakfast I was to have a nasty surprise to interrupt my mornings with Dermot and Natasha. I flicked my television into action again one Friday morning to find well ... I wasn’t sure The female presenter was like Natasha but her hair wasn’t as fiercely styled. I was angry. “Who are these WANNABE’S?!” I remember squeaking in disgust from my bedroom to my Mum who was watching in the kitchen. “Where’s Natasha? What’s that bitch done with her? She’s just a wannabe ... look at her sucking up to everyone. She’s just a Natasha wannabe!” Thinking back, I must have sounded like a toddler throwing her rattle out of the pram, the only problem was that I wasn’t an enfant I was a teenage girl who had become strangely possessed by the lure of a breakfast show and wanted those familiar faces back - my morning could not function without them. It was a turning point.

“Good morning, you’re watching Breakfast with Sian Williams and Bill Turnbull.” Their names chimed out. If only I knew then how much of my life I would dedicate to them. I watched for twenty minutes or so, still incensed that my precious D&N were not there. I decided they were both far too chirpy and bloody happy about everything. D&N had a certain gravitas that I believed was far more suitable to the moody teen I was, I could tell Natasha could be a right cow if she wanted to be, and I liked that. Sian was too damn twee for 6.30 in the morning. I resolved to hate them, no matter what.

Sexism in the Media

Sexism in television is not exactly a new topic. The BBC has been wrestling for years with claims of ageism and sexism towards some of their best known female presenters. Only last month, former Countryfile presenter Miriam O’Reilly won her court case against the BBC who were found guilty of sacking the 53 year old from the flagship programme on grounds of ageism, at the same time as keeping on 70 year old and most definitely male, John Craven. And one need only mention the name Arlene Philips to be aware of the ageism media circus synonymous with her untimely sacking from Strictly Come Dancing.

However, the most recent episode concerning sexism against women in broadcasting is threatening to rumble on and on. Ex Sky Sports commentators Andy Grey and Richard Keys sexist “banter” saw their resignations and then almost immediate hiring to rival radio broadcaster Talksport has caused more than a little controversy. Does this move indicate the green light for all male sport commentators to indulge in the kind of talk that belongs in a pub (for dinosaurs), in a television studio?


I’ve an interest in broadcasting of all areas and it is something I aspire to do in the future but I’ll admit before I enter full rant mode that I know very little about football, I do not know the off side rule but, I’m not a lineswoman at an important football match. I enjoy watching other sports on TV and I think the likes of Clare Balding, Gabby Logan and Sue Barker are more than worthy of the prestigious roles they fulfil. Clare, for example is effortlessly knowledgeable about all things equine and so much more, she’s funny, she knows the relevant people to her sport on a person and professional level, the people she is interviewing generally like her and want to talk to her which makes a difference. In the case of Gabby, I find it genuinely wonderful that a thirtysomething attractive blonde woman can host a flagship football league show on a Saturday afternoon and more than hold her own when always outnumbered by men that she shares the set with.

For those unaware of the original incident which caused so much uproar, the comments which even the most macho of cavemen might see as a little dated occurred when Grey and Keys passed comment over lineswoman, Sian Massey, on Saturday January 22nd. Believing their microphones to be switched off, the two men agreed that Massey, and female assistant referees in general “did not know the offside rule.” Greys can be heard commenting, “What do women know about the offside rule?” before Keys agreed, replying, “Someone better get down there and explain (the offside rule) to her.” Grey concurred. The pair then moved on to discussion of West Ham vice-chairwoman and Apprentice aide, Karren Brady, Keys bringing up the subject, “See the charming Karren Brady this morning complaining about sexism?” “Yeah, do me a favour, love” stated Keys in response.

Subsequently Sky Sports promptly sacked the two men for their comments, some critics and commentators defended them, suggesting their views had been blown grossly out of the proportion, others believed Sky’s decision had been the right one. No one can deny these views still are not rife throughout the country in pubs, bar and livings rooms, although in my view the point is that these (up until now) well respected men in their industry felt it was okay to make these comments in the very public arena of a television studio. Moreover, when Keys participated in a radio interview (for TalkSport, ironically) following his sacking, listeners expected a sincere apology, but oh no, siree. It appeared that Keys still had a mental block when it came to accepting that his comments were wrong, saying “If off air conversations of television and radio presenters were reported up and down the country there would be no-one left working. You know that as well as I do.” And “I am here to say sorry to those people who I need to say sorry to.” No suggestion that he wishes to retract the view he put across as anything but his own then.



Clearly social blunders and prehistoric views of women are what Talksport ultimately seek in their commentators as days after this interview, both Grey and Keys found employment again, certainly not a strong signal to other male broadcasters that such behaviour is not acceptable. Grey said of the appointment, “This is an ideal opportunity to do what we do best, and that's talk about sport", doing what you do best, eh, Andy? Assuming that the sport concerned isn’t women’s beach volleyball I’m guessing.

It occurred to me while watching a news bulletin reporting on these comments that the world of sports media should surely take a hint from the current affairs media. When was the last time you saw a news programme that did not feature a female as a presenter or co-presenter? It appears we live in a society where we trust Fiona Bruce to tell us the latest from Afghanistan but we don’t want Sue Barker to comment on the Andy Murray match unless in the undoubtedly illustrious presence of Tim Henman and Andrew Castle.

But then again, I’m a woman. What do I know? I should most probably get back to the kitchen.

Comic Relief 2011

As we enter the New Year and have only recently been urged by the BBC to empty our pockets for their annual Children In Need appeal, just three months later we’re being urged to do it all over again for another worthy cause in the form of Comic Relief 2011 – cue Lenny Henry looking forlorn as he surveys the slums of Africa, cue various celebrities believing it is suddenly socially acceptable to unleash their lack of dance skills on an audience that is left with the choice of watching them or Take Me Out ... how dare you question the price of the licence fee, sir


First and foremost let me get the serious stuff out of the way. Every year Comic Relief helps thousands of people across Africa and the UK, restoring people’s site, protecting families from malaria and give education to children who have very little else where the average life span is just 35 years, so get your hand in your pocket you miserable lot and give to a good cause. Once you’ve done this, unless celebrity exhibitionism is your thing then Friday 18th March is definitely a night you’ll want to spend in a pub as a host of “famous faces” remind us of the facts I have just outlined to you ... continuously, interspersed with some middle of the road but very definitely politically correct comedy. Here’s a taste of what you can expect:

Let’s Dance: Yes as aforementioned you can’t stop celebrities dancing these days. As a result, every Saturday in the weeks leading up to this year’s “extravaganza” we are being treated to what is essentially largely a collection of male comedians dressing up as women (Kate Bush, Madonna, Beyonce, Cheryl ... I could go on) to see who be the most appalling and then send the most appalling into the one hugely disturbing grand final where there will be more of the same. The whole thing is hosted by Alex Jones of The One Show and Steve Jones of ... of, well, I’m sure he’s famous for something, both of whom spend the duration of the show pretending it’s not awkward hosting a TV show with your ex and maintaining that every single act of “absolutely hilarious”.

Celebrity Trekkers: Coming soon to our screens will be a one off documentary about what happens when you send an assortment of celebrities on a 100k trek through a dessert; think of it as a slightly more civilized I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. The five day trek which was completed a couple of weeks ago with Kara Tointon, Olly Murs, Ronni Ancona, Dermot O’Leary and Craig David all taking part. Hearts are sure to bleed as it is reported many of the celebrities experienced “discomfort”, O’Leary even reporting that “my feet are ruined”. I’m sure the kids with no clean water to drink are brimming, with sympathy, I honestly do.

Famous, Rich and in the Slums: So when I first read that celebrities including Reggie Yates and Angelo Rippon were being “stripped of all their possessions and left alone to live, work and survive in Kibera” I thought it sounded an excellent idea. Too bad it was only because they’re being followed by a film crew for a BBC documentary of the “moving” variety. Are there really any others where Comic Relief is concerned? I am assured however that the programme does its best to get the message across and is packed with some truly shocking statistics such as 3 billion people live in abject poverty today and survive on as little as £1.50 a day; maybe it is worth a watch after all ...

Radio 3 Concert: Something for the slightly more sophisticated among us is Radio 3’s Big Red Nose Show which will involve a 100 piece celebrity orchestra try to break the world record the largest simultaneous playing of an instrument no one was sure existed, the kazoo. Although promisingly the celebrities include Miranda Hart, Marcus Brigstocke, Stephen Mangan, Jenny Eclair and MANY others. You’re not sold on it yet, are you? What if I tell you that Basil Brush is presenting it ... Oh yes, you’re there now, aren’t you?



So there you have it, music, dance and abject poverty, all thrown together to create this year’s fundraiser. Don’t forget to Do Something Funny for Money now, guys ... because the chances are it’ll be a hell of a lot more entertaining than what they’re doing on the telly.